whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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