Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He felt like a one man threesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
