are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize