Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
