Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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