i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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