wrigley field is MILF paradise
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
