it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
