as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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