So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
