Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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