And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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