yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
