hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
