hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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