I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
