after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
And then he peed in my hair
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