i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
