I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
