quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
