If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
