I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
