Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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