The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
God, I missed his penis.
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