i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
