he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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