I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
