Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm just crazy horny about you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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