did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Non-Jews are for practice
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
