WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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