Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
