operation harelip BJ is a go
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
