He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
