i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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