Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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