Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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