Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
