I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
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