in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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