I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
