I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
