Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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