he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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