areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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