matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize