You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
