If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
