can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
