Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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