when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize