In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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