I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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