Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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