my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
