he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
