we're blogging at a bar
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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