You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
