I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
