Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize