Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
