Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
