You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
