dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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