I heard we made out
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
